Thursday, December 31, 2009

Karma's a Bitch* #9

Shamma’s P.O.V

He smirked and leaned closer to me, so close that I could feel his breath on my skin, “hmm, no way in hell,” he whispered before he turned around, walked into his apartment and shut the door leaving me standing there flushed and frustrated like hell.

I let out a frustrated scream and shouted, “Grow up, will ya?!” before I stormed down the hall, my thoughts racing a thousand miles per minute. Catching the elevator just in time, I closed my eyes and leaned on the back wall, trying to breathe.

The door clicked open and I stepped out into the lobby, still a bit irritated about what had happened. I walked through the lobby and out onto the sidewalk out front. I leaned back against the wall as I looked up at the night sky watching the billions of tiny stars twinkling.

I sighed as I called Meera once again, muttering as I dialed the numbers, “Pick up, pick up, pick up.” Then, I froze, hearing the faint sound of a familiar ringtone jingling away from someplace nearby. “Weird..” I muttered as a slightly puzzled expression appeared on my face.

I quickly looked around, searching the crowd for Meera who was nowhere to be seen. After a while of searching, I finally spotted her and my face exploded with happiness. I ran towards her and practically squealed, “Meeeeroooh!” earning some surprised glances our way. “Surprised?” Meera asked as her face broke into a wide grin.

I threw my arms around her tightly and yelled excitedly, “Why didn't you tell me you were coming here?!”

"Shammoh- can't breathe- too.. tight,you're suffocating me," she choked out.

“Oh! shit.. sorry,” I muttered and let go of her, holding in a giggle. “Dude! I've got SO much to tell you! You’re not gona believe what happened, juicy stuff!” I said eagerly.

“Oh my gosh tell me!” Meera shrieked excitedly as she gave me all her attention preparing herself for some extremely juicy gossip.

“Ta3aly ta3aly let’s sit,” I said as I literally dragged her to sit at one of the café tables in the lobby. “T5aylay-”

Meera let out a low whistle, “now that’s what I call eye candy,” she interrupted me checking out a bunch of hot guys. “I’m gona go upstairs to freshen up and everything ba3dain you can tell me all this juicy stuff of yours,” she quickly said as she got up heading towards the elevator.

I shot her a quick look, “9dg ench mtfayja!” I shouted as I hit my head against the table. I plugged the iPod's earphones into my ears and pulled out a book to read from my bag.

“What are you reading?” I jumped about a mile into the air when I heard the sweet velvet voice from about a foot in front of me. I lowered my book and saw the rude jerk, the one who bumped into me at the airport, sitting directly in front of me. The back of his chair was facing me and he was sitting with his legs on either side, his face merely inches from mine.

But I noticed all of this after. The only thing I could look at was his face.

His blue-greyish eyes were sparkling brightly with curiosity. His messy hair had a beautiful shade of dirty blonde that I’d never seen before. His nose was perfectly straight and sharp. His cheekbones were high and his mouth was pulled into a deliciously crooked smile, white teeth shining through.

“R-Romeo and Juliet,” I answered breathlessly. Get a grip, I thought to myself. So he’s hot, who cares? He looks like a troublemaker, a bad boy. Just like Khalifa. Not my type. Not at all.

“You like those kinds of books?” he asked, shock clear in his face. His eyebrows raised, his sparkling eyes widening slightly in surprise. He was still so close, his sweet breath hitting my face. I leaned back a bit, blinking.

“Yes,” I answered, my tone making me seem a little smug, “some of us actually like these kinds of books.”

“These violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die like fire and powder which as they kiss consume,” he quoted flawlessly. My jaw literally dropped open as I stared at this boy in confusion. He smirked at me and I wanted to smack that sexy smirk right off his face.
This didn’t make sense, I thought to myself. Boys like him don't like school books, or romances. They're just womanizers, players, trouble makers, dancing through life without doing anything decent.

“You know it?” I asked. My tone was rudely surprised, but he just chuckled.

“It’s a classic,” he answered with a shrug. As he continued speaking, his voice grew more powerful, more passionate and so much more beautiful. There weren’t words for the way he spoke. “Plus, just because you think I'm a rude jock which is what everyone thinks, hot, arrogant, sexy you know, doesn’t mean I’m a major flirt or idiot. And I’m just as surprised to see that you like the classics, I thought beautiful, smug girls only liked shopping and boys?”

It took me a minute to answer him. At first, I was just really sad that he had stopped talking since I wanted to hear more of his enchanting voice. But then I realized he had insulted me. And wait, did he call me beautiful? Does he really think I'm beautiful? It doesn’t matter, I reminded myself.

“Just because you think I’m beautiful and smug doesn’t mean I’m a slutty moron,” I snapped back, “I’m actually quite intelligent and I love the classics.”

“Well I guess we both have a lot to learn about each other,” he said, flashing me another one of those breathtaking crooked grins. He held his hand out and I took it. The electricity that zipped through my hand froze me for a moment, but I didn’t want to let go of his hand. It was a good feeling. “I’m Saif,” he said just before he got up and turned around to leave.

“huh Saif? what the hell, he's local?!” I mumbled under my breath.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Karma's a Bitch* #8

Shamma’s P.O.V

Just as I was about to turn around and leave, the door flew open and my eyes shot open in shock.

“oh you have got to be kidding me!” I grumbled, “this is great, just great.”

He just stood there before me with a smirk plastered on his face.

“huh? 5leefah?! w-what the hell are you doing here?!” I yelled.

“well, there is this little fact that I live here, ” he said sarcastically.

SLAM! the door had evidently been closed in my face.

I just stood there for a moment, eyes wide and mouth hung open in shock, unable to understand what had just happened.

Seconds later, the door swung open again getting me out of the wave of shock that ran through me.
“oh and by the way, guess you’re not even close to being miles and miles away from me,” he added quickly, his evil smirk reaching from one ear to the other as he shut the door in my face, AGAIN!

I groaned in frustration and let out a scream, stomping my foot down hard against the floor. With steam blowing out of my ears, I swiftly spun around and stormed off down the hall to my apartment.

As soon as I got there, my hands dove frantically into my pockets searching for my blackberry, more frustration pouring onto me by the second. I madly looked around the apartment and then I called out for Jane, “Jaaane, where’s my phooone?!!”

A beeping came from the couch in the living room, I quickly ran over, flicked my phone open and my fingers frantically dialed my brother's number. I pressed call and waited. It rang and rang and rang …
Please please, pick up!

Me: 7amdaaan!! enta waain bl’6ab6?!
Hamdan: balach t9ar5een? shu 5aloof didn’t tell you?
Me: tell me what? enzain answer me, where are you now?!
Hamdan: i heard you before! There's no need to shout!
Me: uff 7amdanoh answer me w fkny!
Hamdan: i’m at the airport?
Me: huh airport? what? why? 3ala wain enshallah?
Hamdan: i’m going to Germany for a while for this uni-related-thingy
Me: why didn’t you tell me sooner?! and what the hell is 5leefah doing here?!
Hamdan: i had no idea, I just found out today. Oh and 5aloof is there because I called him so he could keep an eye on you since I trust him .. and well, to keep you company since I know you guys are close and all, he’s there so you don’t get bored out of your mind, you know.
Me: bas 7amdan, you should know that-
Hamdan: the plane’s about to board, I need to get going, talk to you later Shammoh.

He frickin cut me off! and hung up before I could say anything!
I heard the dial tone. I closed my eyes and breathed out, slightly frustrated.
This is just fan-fucking-tastic, I thought to myself.

I stormed over to Hamdan’s apartment, well “Khalifa’s” for now I guess, trying my best not to cry or scream or break anything I would regret destroying.
I knocked calling Khalifa’s name, but of course the door didn't open then, so I started pounding on it positive that he’s in there. “5leefah open the door!” I yelled.

I just stood there for a few more minutes with him still ignoring me. I started to get more frustrated than I already was since I heard fidgeting from the other side of the door. Oh so he’s definitely ignoring me!
“5leeefah! Damn it! Open this damn door or I swear I’ll-”

Khalifa’s P.O.V

I swung the door open to reveal a very pissed off looking Shamma, frustration written all over her pretty face.
“You’ll what ha?” I asked challengingly, “what exactly are you gona do 7abeebty huh?!”

She just groaned and ran her hand through her hair. “Lain mta nawy tg3ad hne enshallah? And why aren’t you staying at your place ha?” she retorted, as she shot me a knowing look that said i-don't-want-you-here.

“How about you go ask your brother?” I smiled wickedly, loving the fact that her face was showing more frustration with every second.

A flash of fear appeared in her eyes, like she knew that this wasn’t good, but she kept her voice steady, “7amdan isn’t coming back, is he?”

“You got that right,” I smirked lazily at her.

She narrowed her eyes and raised an annoyed, questioning eyebrow at me, “What are you smirking about?!”

“Nothing, just that you’re stuck right across the hall from me cuz I ain’t going nowhere,” I replied, my smirk widening as she glared at me.

“5leefah,” she called my name softly, it sounded perfect rolling off her tongue, as a fake smile appeared on her face.

“5air?” I replied coldly.

“Can we at least just try to be civil? Since we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other lately, you know,” she said in a sickenly sweet voice. “We don't have to be best buddies and all,” she added quickly.

“Sure, I’d love for us to be friends,” I said, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
Suddenly, I threw my head back in a fit of roaring laughter, “HAHAHAHA! Now you wana be friends ha?”

Shamma stepped backward staring back at me annoyed and irritated and shot me an i’ll-kill-you look, and if looks could kill, I’d probably be out cold by now.

I smirked and leaned closer to her, so close that she could feel my breath on her skin, “hmm, no way in hell,” I whispered before I turned around, walked into my apartment and shut the door leaving her standing there flushed and frustrated like hell.

'Bingo' I smirked to myself, let’s see how you like that, Shamma.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Karma's a Bitch* #7

Shamma’s P.O.V

The plane ride passed by quicker than usual. We were going to land soon, and I couldn’t help the big smile that formed on my face, though it looked out of place amongst all the other tired and dull expressions that everyone around me wore. I was far far away from him, back to the place I call my second home, back to where everything seems to be much better.

A few minutes later, we were on the ground. I scrambled through the airport looking for the nearest exit. I found one and ran to it as quickly as possible. Hamdan told me he’d be here, but he’s nowhere to be found! I groaned, flipped my hair over my shoulder, and started to help this guy carry my luggage. As I was walking towards the exit, someone bumped into me, so hard that I dropped the bag I'd been carrying.

"oh my god, watch it!" I cried, bending down to pick it up.

I heard a scoff, and I looked up to see who had bumped into me. Standing before me was a guy not too much older than me. He had a yellow, zip-up hoodie on, with the hood pulled up, covering his messy, dirty blonde hair, which stuck out from the edges of his hood. His hoodie was unzipped, showing off his wrinkled plain black shirt underneath. His dark jeans were ripped at the knee, and he kept his hands in the pockets. He was wearing yellow converse sneakers and he hadn't even bothered to tie the laces. He was a walking dress code violation.

He was undeniably handsome though, that much could be said, but the rugged kind of handsome. He had a scar that ran down his cheek which made him look even tougher than he already did. His intense blue-greyish eyes glanced down at my light brown ones for a split second.

"sorry, princess," he spat.

“what the hell is your problem!”, I glared at him, already disgusted.

"whatever," he said, pushing past me.

"one hell of an ass," I mumbled under my breath, trudging to the exit behind the guy carrying my luggage.

There was a black Mercedes waiting for me outside and a driver opened the door for me. I got into the backseat of the car, it was warm inside and the leather seats felt safer than the plane. I let a smile spread across my face as the engine revved into life. We zoomed down the familiar streets of New York, and I watched the rain trickle down the windows. The lights of the cars that flashed past were hypnotizing and I let them fall into a steady rhythm, before looking away.

I dug into my bag, searching around for my iPod until I found it.
"Jane, wake me up when we arrive," I told my maid, putting the headphones into my ears. The driver shifted gear so we were speeding along faster. I let the music fill my ears and take me away. As soon as my eyes were closed, I was woken by the stillness of the car.

"we’re here Shamma,” Jane told me.

I looked out the window, it had stopped raining but the sky still looked creepy. I entered the building and went up to my apartment. I left Jane there to unpack my bags, make sure everything’s tidy and polished, as I went over to Hamdan’s place.

I lightly knocked on the apartment door. KNOCK KNOCK. No answer.
“7amdaaan”, I called to him, “efta7 el baab.”

I knocked again. KNOCK KNOCK. No answer again. I tried the door handle. Yeah, no such luck.

I banged loudly on his door, but there was still no response.
“7amdan, open the damn door!” I yelled as I kept on banging.

“ugh! where the hell is he?” I thought to myself.

Just as I was about to turn around and leave, the door flew open and my eyes shot open in shock.

“oh you have got to be kidding me!” I grumbled, “this is great, just great.”

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Karma's a Bitch* #6

Shamma’s P.O.V

It started ringing once more, but this time it seemed like an international call. I thought I’d just ignore, but they kept calling, once, twice, 3 times, so I picked it up.
"Umm, hello?"
"Hey you, guess who"
I recognized this deep masculine voice, but I I couldn't quite put a face to who the voice belonged to. “Uhh..”
“Shu shammo shaklech nsaitena ..”

“uhh ha..” I stuttered

The person on the other side of the line just laughed.
That laugh! I thought.

“oh my god 7amdan is that you?!” I screamed into the phone.

“haih it’s me who else would it be ya3ne?” he teased.

I gasped, “you remember me! I’m flattered, wallah I truly am.”

“hahaha very funny shammoh”, he said sarcastically.

“lala 9dg I’m surprised u called, I thought u forgot all about me.”

“how can I ever forget u little sis?” he chuckled.

“Soo how r u? and sh7al ma6oor? how’s the U.S? did u buy me anything?..” I just kept on blabbering and throwing questions at him.

“woah woah shway shway 3alay, everything’s great, we’re all fine, the States’s amazing. El mhm el mhm, the reason I called in the first place is cuz I wanted to ask you etha u wana come visit us for a while since you’ve got a holiday n all.”

“haaaih akeed I wana come! when? did u talk to mom and dad?” I yelled excitedly.

“yeah everything’s been taken care of, it’s just that I wanted to check with you and see if u feel like coming”, he replied, “oh and FYI the flight’s tomorrow”, he mumbled.

“what?!! tomorrow?! shu 2mrw?!! but I’m not ready yet!” I shrieked frantically.

“too bad, dabri 3mrch”, he chuckled, “yala I g2g now so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“god okay”, I mumbled, “bas 7amdaan I ..” he hung up and I heard the dial tone. I sighed, sometimes my brother could be such a hard ass.

I groaned as I walked back to my room and flopped back down on my bed, only to stare up at the ceiling. I better get a goodnight sleep, I thought to myself.

*Next Day*
“bas you guys, umm my flight leaves tonight”, I mumbled to my friends as we were having lunch at Hédiard.

HE was there, even though I had not glanced his way since I entered, I knew that he had yet to take his gaze off of me. I could feel him boring holes into my skin with his eyes. He wanted me to look at him, to stare into those pleading eyes of his and listen to him. That reason alone is why I refused to acknowledge his presence, for if I took the chance and looked at him, I might fall into his trap and be just another name on his list.

“Shammoh are you serious?! 3nbo tawch radah, why are you going back now?”

“yeah tawna radeen, it’s just been a couple of months!” Meera cried out.

I was hardly listening to what they were saying. I didn’t care, it didn’t matter to me how much they tried to convince me to stay, there’s no way I’m gona change my mind. I could see him getting up from his seat and I hear footsteps coming toward us. He stood right by our table pretending to talk to one of the waiters, but I just continued to ignore his presence.

“madre a7s I wana go back, and I will go back, everything seems to be better back at the States”, I said as I drummed my fingers lightly against the maple colored table.

As soon as I said that one sentence, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. His perfect face slowly turned towards me, and I found it hard to swallow. He looked shocked, like he wasn’t expecting me to go back so soon. He dug into his pocket, pulled out his cell phone and frantically began punching some stuff on it.

A few seconds later, he walked back to his seat and I felt my phone vibrate on the table. New text. I opened it up to see who it was. I frowned.

“Are you seriously leaving tonight? Look, I’m sorry about what happened, just forget everything that has happened and let’s go back to how we used to be, like way back, just friends. I guess I screwed up, so sorry. –5leefah”

I bit my lip. Did I want to forgive him? My first reaction was no. Usually I hated going with my first reaction, but in this situation, I felt it fit. I clicked reply and typed furiously.

“I don’t think I wana be friends anymore. You fucked up. There's no chance of us being together if that was what you wanted.” I sent to him. I tapped my fingers against the table waiting for a reply.

I was pretty much numb. No incredible feelings were rushing through me like before. It was as if I was in some sort of trance. The trauma, probably now that I think about it. I felt absolutely nothing, and it was horrible. The hole in my chest where he was, was simply an empty space now that he was gone. Him and I used to be really close, the fact he could simply shatter everything we had like that made me wonder if he ever felt anything for me at all. Sure, he claimed to love me, but did he really? I didn’t think so.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I jumped when my phone vibrated again.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me, what made me want to do that. I know that’s not an excuse, but it’s all I got. I need some serious help.”

I chuckled a bit before replying.
“No, it’s not an excuse, and yeah you should get help.” When I was done texting, I took a quick glance at him and he was staring at his cell with a frown formed on his face.

I received another new text and got startled again.
“Yeah, I should. I really wanna talk to you about what happened, face to face, again.” he admitted. I gulped. Was I comfortable with seeing him again? The obvious answer was: not in the slightest.

“I don’t. I’m not comfortable around you anymore, 5leefa. I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should be talking to each other right now.” It was probably incredibly pathetic of me to say something like that over text, but I couldn’t do much else without having some sort of breakdown. Funny, I still didn’t cry. Not one tear had been shed. I’d been thinking about crying, sobbing really, like before, but I never did. He texted back quickly.

“Okay. I don’t blame you. I’m sorry again.” Not even then did I lose my self-control. I simply shut my phone and stared at my friends without blinking at all. I wasn’t sure exactly how to deal with all of this. I could see him getting up and heading to the seats outside.

I started to tremble again, holding myself in a way. Still there were no tears. I started to wonder what I was going to tell other people about what had happened. We used to be so close, everyone knew that. I sure as hell wasn’t about to tell them the real reason, so I had to think of some sort of cover story. A fight about something I didn’t want to talk about, possibly? I supposed it could work. I sighed, letting my head fall back against the chair, my gaze still firmly fixed ahead.

Some sort of battle was going on in my brain. A part of me was just telling me to shut him out completely. The other part wanted to hear him out, see what he had to say.

“agool I’m gona go outside shway, I need to take a call, it’s 7amdan u5oyah”, I told my friends.

“do you want me to come with you?” Meera asked me since she knew that I always ask her to tag along when I go anywhere, and vice versa.

“la 3ade it’s fine, ma ba6awel”, I replied as I walked towards the outer area of the restaurant.

Walking along, I spotted him leaning over the rail smoking a cigarette, “What do you want 5leefah?”

Wow, she actually noticed I was gone, Khalifa thought to himself.

He turned his head slightly to look at me, “ha achofch you came”, he smirked then turned back around.

“Whatever”, I scoffed, “do you want anything or what? ana mb fa’6yatlk.”

“Well, there is one question I think I'm entitled to ask you, considering you just dropped a bomb on me", he paused to see my reaction, but I just nodded.
“Why do you wana go back there?” he asked.

I just stared at him. After a few minutes his left eyebrow lifted a tiny bit, and I realized he was waiting for an answer.

“Is it because of me or something? I’ll stay away from you if that’s what you want. Do you want me to hate you, love you, what?” he asked once more.

I smirked at him, “I could care less if you love me or hate me, it's what they call life you know, life’s a bitch.”

He stared at me indifferently, his dark eyes locked into mine. I shivered. A blank expression found its way across his handsome face, and he didn’t utter a single word.

“Honestly, you know why I wana go? Because it’s miles and miles away from you,” I shot back as I headed straight back in without glancing at him once.

Life truly is a bitch, I grinned to myself pleased with what I’ve just done.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Final Goodbye*

just a one-shot story ..


A pale hand traced over the door, dreading to enter the room that held his love. Taking a deep breath, he reluctantly opened the door. Stepping in his breath caught in his throat, even after all these years, his love still captivated him. He saw his one and only, lying on the bed, even though her skin was paler than before, he still thought she looked amazing.

He slowly made his way towards the bed, not wanting to disturb her. Sitting down, his eyes raked over her body, taking in her figure, every curve, every feature and engraving it in his memory. Taking a hold of the still hand on the bed, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to the day that shattered his perfect life.

Hamad had walked into Dana’s art gallery, looking to the side he saw her with her head in her hands.

“Shamsa, Dana what’s going on?”

Shamsa looked up at her best friend’s boyfriend and sighed, her eyes filled with pain, “7amad, I think you should sit down.”

Hamad heard Dana’s silent sobs, and in one swift movement he was kneeling in front of his love, “baby, shu feech? what’s wrong?”

Dana looked up with tear stained cheeks, her eyes went from Hamad to Shamsa then back to Hamad.

Hamad looked over at Shamsa, who stood up and placed her hand on his shoulder. After a few minutes, he stood stiff, he couldn’t believe what Shamsa had just told him.

“No this can’t be, Dana you’re perfect, there must be some sort of mistake...” Hamad sat down looking over at Dana, he quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

“I’m sorry, 7amad. We’ve ran so many tests and the results are all the same. Now, it seems that her body has given up, and unfortunately, ma ngdar ensawi shay, it’s too late for any treatment.”

Hamad heard a sob from the warm body that was clinging to his shirt. “Don’t worry Dana, we’ll find a way”, he said kissing his lover’s forehead.

“No 7amad, you heard what Shamsa said.”

“I refuse to believe that. I’m not letting you go”, Hamad cupped Dana’s cheek in his hand.

Dana closed her eyes at the touch. “7amad, I…”

“Maybe we could travel somewhere and…”

Dana shook her head, “no, it won’t work, it just won’t work.”

“Please, I can’t lose you. You’re everything to me.”

“7amad plz, I don’t wana fight this. I’ve come to terms with it”, Dana sobbed into Hamad’s chest. “Just keep loving me.”

He nodded, running his hand through her hair, “always”

End of Flashback

The faint sound of sheets shuffling, brought him back to reality. Looking over he was greeted by the sight of a small smile on his lover’s lips.

“Hey”, Dana whispered softly, looking at Hamad.

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

She smiled slightly at his concern, “la you didn’t, I just pretended to be, so the nurse wouldn’t bother me.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle; that was his girl, always finding ways to get out of things. A frown quickly formed on his lips, remembering why he was here. He felt Dana slightly tug his hand.

“7amad, please don’t”, she pleaded knowing where his mind wandered to.

He felt anger boil in him. He pulled his hand away from her and began to pace, “Dana, I can’t. How do you expect me to let this happen? I’ve seen you get worse and it’s killing me! wallah it's just killing me”, he sighed retaking his seat next to her bed.

“7amad plz, 5ala9 I’ve learnt to accept this, plz ...”

“Why don’t you let me take you somewhere where you might get better treatment…” he pleaded grabbing a hold of her hand once again.

“No 7amad, you heard the doctors, they said that there’s no way for me to get better, 5ala9 it’s over”, she put her hand over his, “if there was a way, you know I would do it.”

“Please”, he begged, placing his forehead against hers, “I can’t lose you, Dana.”

Looking up, he could see the tears form in those chocolate-brown eyes that stole his heart. Sitting on the bed next to her, he brought his hand up and cradled her cheek, “you’re my life Dana, you’re my only reason to live.”

Dana stared into the dark-colored eyes of Hamad, the eyes she had spent so many years with. “As you are mine. Baby, there’s nothing we can do. I’ve come to accept that”, she said as the tears fell from her eyes.

“But I can’t, I can’t live without you”, Hamad said his voice full of sorrow and heartache, his eyes full of tears, “it’s too soon, we promised each other forever.”

Dana sighed, she knew he would have a hard time, but she wanted him to realize that it was time, and that one day he’d be okay, “I know we did, but this is my fate 7amad, plz don’t be sad”, she said as she pressed her hand against his cheek.

“How can I not, when you’re going to be taken away from me?” he said closing his eyes wanting to memorize the feel of her warm hand on his cheek. “It’s too soon”, he repeated, bringing his forehead to rest against Dana’s once more.

Dana swallowed the lump in her throat, “it might be, but just remember that I’ll always love you and I’ll be with you no matter what. Just remember the times we had, and how hard we fought for our love. I do not regret any of it. We have shared more love than anyone in this world and no one can take that away from us”, she whispered to him.

Hamad nodded, not trusting his voice, and kissed her cheek softly. He hated times like these, he wished he could have some sort of way to release the pain he felt in his heart.

“Promise me that you’ll go on and live for me”, she whispered as he broke the kiss.

Hamad began to shake his head, “I can’t promise you that, but I will promise that I’ll live as long as I can; as long as I can bear without you, which won’t be long.”

She sighed, “now plz, no more tears. Just stay here with me, hold me in your arms for one last time.”

Hamad nodded as he slowly wrapped his arms around Dana’s thin frame and cradled her to his chest, never wanting to let go.

“a7bk 7amad Al X, always and forever”, she whispered once they were settled.

“a7bch Dana Al X, for eternity”, he whispered and kissed her forehead.

As the sun began to set, Hamad held Dana to him, sitting in a comfortable silence. Nothing mattered to them right now, just the two of them and their time together, however long they had, both remembering their life together. He ran his hand through her soft hazel locks, kissing her forehead and cheek every so often. Soon her breathing slowed and she was fast asleep.

Throughout the night, Hamad held her in his arms. He could feel his lover begin to slip away, he cradled her closer to him not wanting to let go, trying to save any piece he could, every memory. Before sunrise, he knew there was nothing he could do, her heart had stopped. His love, his soul mate, his everything was gone, taken away from him. Cancer had taken the only thing that kept him alive, and now as he held his lover’s lifeless body to him, all he could do was be grateful for having one final goodbye.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Karma's a Bitch* #5

Shamma’s P.O.V

It’s past midnight; I’m sitting alone in the music room lazily playing my guitar, lost in deep thoughts.

It's been a week since that day we talked, and I’ve been surprised since I expected lots of awkward and uncomfortable moments, angry stares and evil eyes, maybe even occasional tear shedding seeing as watching him with another girl has broken my heart no matter how much I pretend it didn't.

Luckily, none of that happened because we’ve drifted apart and we haven’t been talking to each other even when we bump into one another. I just deny his existence, pretend he’s not there, and he just tries to talk to me constantly but I just wouldn’t give him the chance.

I don't know exactly when I started to feel attracted to him, but the feeling was there. I would always stare at him, without him knowing. I had a crush. There was no use denying it. I had it for him so bad, it was almost an infatuation. I never showed these feelings to anyone though, except Meera. He didn’t know, sweet little innocent Shamma, was obsessed with him. Bleh, pathetic.

He just loves to flirt, he loves being a player. He is well aware of the fact that he broke a lot of hearts during his life.

At the time, the time when I was sixteen, I thought Khalifa would stop being a player, a badass. I thought this crazy obsession might turn into something more. Looking back, it was just a little crush back then. Back then. But times have come and gone, right?

I'm nineteen now, and I know how I feel. I do have feelings for him, I admit that, despite certain things. But I’m gona forget those feelings, forget about Khalifa. He’ll never stop playing around with people’s hearts. He’s only gona keep hurting me and apologizing after every single time, that’s the way it goes with him and girls, and I don’t want that ...

The buzzing of my phone startled me from my deep thoughts and all thoughts of Khalifa left my head. That's weird i thought, who would be calling at 3a.m.? I took a look at the screen, and my caller ID said it was an unknown number. The phone kept buzzing and it was only a matter of time before it stopped ringing.

It started ringing once more, but this time it wasn't an unknown number, it was an international call. I thought I’d just ignore, but they kept calling, once, twice, 3 times, so I picked it up.

"umm, hello?"

"hey you, guess who"

I recognized this deep masculine voice, but I couldn't quite put a face to who the voice belonged to. “uhh..”

“shu shammoh shaklech nsaitena ..”

Friday, December 18, 2009

Karma's a Bitch* #4

Shamma’s P.O.V

I got into my car and told the driver to just drive with no destination in mind. I sighed, my gaze darting over to look at him through the window as I drove away. I reached into my Hermes bag to pull out my wallet. I opened the clasp with a flick of my finger and I’m met with a picture, I looked down at it, it was a picture of him and I. We were so happy and care-free back then, we were ‘just friends’, nothing more, nothing less .. or that’s what he thought at least.
That’s the problem... things aren’t the same anymore, things have changed.

I shook my head, my bangs falling over my eyes. I sat up straight and pushed my hair away as realization finally hit me, he doesn’t care ...
I made my decision at that moment. I decided that I was worth more than this.

I sighed as I remembered the way things were running my fingers over the photo’s edge. A few minutes later, I reluctantly returned the photo back into my wallet. Gone were those days ...

I snapped back into reality! Why the hell do I care? Why am I making a big deal out of nothing? I have to face the fact that he obviously doesn’t care, I have to get used to it. Most importantly, I’ve got to forget he ever told me anything, just erase every single word he told me from my mind, forget that he told me he loved me ..
I scoffed, what kind of fucked up love is this?! Today, he proved something to me, that he doesn’t know what love actually is.

I decided to drive down to the beach instead of home since I needed time to think things through, and the beach house was the perfect place. No one was there. I sat all alone on that beach, our beach, and looked out across the darkened, rippling water. The sun was just beginning to set, the blazing yellow fading into a cool, gentle orange.

I sat on that one smooth rock near the water, with my knees pulled against my chest, listening to the unending rhythm of the waves upon the shore. I thought of all the times I’d sat in this very same spot, away from the rest of the world. This place is my own personal heaven; no matter what happens in my life, I could always come here to be comforted.

It’s getting kinda late so I guess I should be heading back home right about now. As I was getting up, I noticed a figure standing on the beach. Who is this mysterious figure? I walked up and noticed that it was Khalifa. Why is he here? What does he want? All those questions were running through my head.


I closed my eyes for a second and stared out emptily onto the expanse of ocean that laid out before me.

“I’m sorry, I really am, I promised you I would never let anyone hurt you, and I’m the one who just hurt you.”

He stood there looking at me, I didn’t look back at him. He listened to me breathe for a second and continued to talk.“Can you please just look at me? Just for a second?”

I took a deep breath and turned my head to look at him.

“I just wana know one thing, why are you feeling down? I told u I loved you years ago, but did you say it back? No .. you didn’t, you said you didn’t feel anything for me. Am I right or what?! Isn’t that what you told me?”

I finally said something, the only thing I thought I could say and not reveal anything.
“You THINK you love me, but you don’t. ‘I love you’ is not like ‘good morning’, you know? To say it, you got to mean it. Don't you say you love me, don't say you need me, don't say it. Don't say it cuz I know deep inside you don't mean it, don’t say it cuz you don't know the meaning of this word, so stop saying it cuz I KNOW you don't love me, and now you’ll know that ‘I’ don’t love you!”

That instant EVERYTHING changed ..

Khalifa’s P.O.V

An hour later, I just drove aimlessly and searched frantically for her. I looked everywhere, but I couldn’t find her. Not willing to give up now that I’d found the courage to talk to her, I eventually tracked her down. I found her, at our place, lost in her thoughts.

She got up since she was just about to leave and started walking towards me because she couldn’t quite recognize who I was. As she came closer, she realized that it was me.

“Shamma”, I whispered into the night as her name rolled off my tongue.

She turned her back towards me and continued to stare out into the ocean. I apologized for hurting her, but she just wouldn’t look at me.

“Can you please just look at me for a second?”

I stood frozen as she turned to look at me with her startling, brown eyes. A warm feeling washed over my body.

I asked her why she felt that way when she saw me with those other girls. Why did she look so sad? She clearly stated that she doesn’t love me more than a ‘friend’. Am I missing something over here? Does she see me as something more than just a friend?

She finally said something, something I’d never thought she’d say to me. She told me that I clearly don’t love her, that I duno what love is, that I duno the meaning of the word ‘love’, and that SHE doesn’t love me.

Maybe she has point, maybe I truly don’t love her YET, maybe my feelings towards Shamma are more than what you’d feel towards a friend but not close to love yet. Obviously I have strong feelings for her, but after that talk she gave me, I have found out that I dont’t just have a crush on her, nor do I really love her. I think I just really really like her. All I know is that I want to be with her, more than just friends, more than what we used to be.
If only she feels the same way towards me, if only ..

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Karma's a Bitch* #3

Shamma’s P.O.V

A few months have passed since my arrival back home, Khalifa was nowhere to be seen, and if you ask me how my life is at the moment, I’d tell you perfect. You see right now everything is just right, I’m living my life to the fullest, I have almost everything I could possibly need, the perfect family, perfect circle of friends, and that’s all that matters at the time. Then HE walked back into my life and fucked all that up! HE turned my life into complete bullshit.

My friends and I have headed to Starbucks to grab some coffee and just chill. Everyone was chillaxin and just havin a good time. I was busy typing away on my blackberry when HE walked in.

Meera’s eyes popped out of their sockets and her jaw dropped down to the floor. “oh my god u guys, check out that dude that just walked in.”

All of them turned their heads to look at him, while I was in a world of my own. They’re always like this when it comes to guys, especially hotties, so I didn’t really care about what was happening at the moment or who they were ogling.
“mashallah 3alaih!” “5saraa kel hal jamal and he’s with those blonde bimbos.” “Look at that ditz kaif gab’6tnah!”

“Shammooh! Just look at him!” “Just a quick look, la yfootch” “Chofeeh .. bas na’6ra w7da!” “Just ONE look! You won’t regret it trust me”, they kept going on and on while I was too occupied with my phone.

He was moving closer to where we were seated meaning we could get a better glimpse of him. Meera was still going gaga over him, “Yee shu hal jamal hayda msh ma32ooool”, when all of a sudden her mouth shaped into perfect ‘O’, she covered her mouth with her hand, *gasps* “laykoon this is…!?!”

I still wasn’t aware of what was going on around me, so I looked up from my phone and turned to face her, “Shu esalfah? What’s going on?” I asked carelessly then turned back to my phone once again.

She pointed her finger at something behind me, “Look! over there!” I lifted my head and looked around, but there’s no one behind me. I turned back to her confused, “where? There’s nothing there that would make you wana gasp and go all ‘OMG’!”

“Not here..”, she pointed again but to a different area, “there”

I turned my head to look once more and I wish I didn’t. I just froze .. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There he was .. there was Khalifa, standing right before my eyes, with his arm practically embracing some bimbo’s waist. I was gona shift my gaze not wanting him to see my face, unfortunately it didn't work just as I had thought. I could sense that he stiffened and his eyes widened as soon as he saw me. He let his lips linger on her skin for a few seconds as he kissed her cheek while she was hanging onto him like some lovesick puppy. I quickly shook my head and our gaze broke. His eyes were locked on mine, my eyes were fixed elsewhere. Was it all a lie? Am I not a drug that he can’t stay away from 3ala goltah? Didn’t he mean everything he said to me?

I tilted my head slightly so that I could look at him out of the corner of my eye once more, he met my gaze and I could see the guilt wash over him. I held back my tears and walked away. I didn’t want to look at him, I didn’t want to look at anyone, I just wanted to disappear …

Khalifa’s P.O.V

I walked through the door of Starbucks with a ridiculous grin on my face, and a bunch of girls attached to my hip. As soon as I stepped into the place, every single head turned to look at me. This isn’t something new to me, I mean it happens all the time, I’m used to it by now. People gawk at me everywhere I go, and girls practically follow me around like paparazzi.

I walked to the counter with certain confidence and arrogance. While I was waiting for my order, I put out my arm to encircle one of the girls’ slender waist while she wrapped her own arms around me and rested her hands on my back.

You know how sometimes you can feel someone watching you .. well I had a feeling like someone was watching me. The feeling of eyes on me was unmistakable, I swear I could feel someone’s gaze burning right through me. I turned to see who it was, right there I saw the two most beautiful eyes, it was her. She was so stunning that she could take anyone's breath away by just a single glance.

I can see that she didn’t want me to see her, but she was too late. We both froze, our eyes locked. Not a word was spoken between us. I felt a rush of fury deep inside me as I remembered how she left, so I tightened my grip around the girl’s waist, and touched my lips lightly to the soft skin of her cheek without taking my eyes off of HER. I let my lips linger on her skin for a few seconds before breaking it. She looked away from me breaking the gaze clearly hiding a pained expression, while my eyes were still locked on hers. Why the pained expression, I thought. She clearly stated that she doesn’t feel anything for me, or does she?

She turned to look at me one last time then walked away, away from me, away from all of this. Unwanted guilt washed over me .. the regret of hurting her was stabbing me like no knife could .. I wanted to go to her, to hold her gently. I have never done anything to hurt her before. Had I chosen wrong? Did I hurt Shamma by doing this? I sighed softly. Even if I had been wrong, it was too late to take back the pain, the pain that I’ve just caused her ..

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Karma's a Bitch* #2

Shamma’s P.O.V

After that day .. the day that Khalifa confessed his love to me, I decided that I can’t be in the same place as him. I knew that things would be awkward between us .. bigtime! That’s because even though I mentioned that Khalifa was a player, he never really treated me the same way he treated those other girls he hooked up with. He was very protective of me and ma kan y’r6a 3alayah when 7ad y’3la6 3alay or sumthin no matter what. He would never let anyone piss me off or try to bully me. But he’s still a stereotypical bad boy, and does all the usual bad boy things.

That was when I knew I had to get away ..

If I had stayed and got together with him, I could have been just another bee in the hive since he would think that I was just like any other girl. He might have bossed me around and treated me like shit after him and I had gotten together. I mean, that's how he ususally treats his "girls". When he told me he loved me, maybe he didn't actually mean it, maybe he thought that this is love. He could've just said so we'd be together. I know how it feels to be head over heels for someone, but you have to weigh the pros and cons of dating a "bad boy" before going for it.

Therefore, I decided that it’s better for me to take my mind off all of this and join my brothers in the U.S. I was 16 at the time meaning I had a year left of school. I decided to continue my studies abroad as well as begin my university years over there.


I was walking down to kitchen one night when I heard my mum and dad talking with my brothers, M6ar and 7amdan. I moved closer and pressed my ear against the door.

M6ar: “Bas umaya n7n sayren ndrs mb sayren 7ag l3ban w hal 5rabe6.”

7amdan: “Haih umaya 9a7 kalam M6ar, w a9lan bas 2 or 3 years w banrja3 el blad.”

Mum: “Ya3ne lazem el wa7ed ysafer bara3 3shan ykamel drasta? 3ndkm mlyon jam3a fel blad!”

Fate seems to be on my side, I thought. The voice in my head kept telling me, this is it Shamma .. this is what you wanted, to get away .. don’t let this chance slip away.

7amdan: “Bas umaya hnak a7la el ajwa2. Ajwa2 Amreeka! T3arfeen shu y3ne!? Ensawi eli nbah mta ma nba w kel shay 3ala kaifna. w el banat! Y5rab bait el banat eli hnak, enti bas lo tchofenhum! 6arr! 6aaarrr! Kel w7da a7la 3an el thanya, uff 3athaab...”

Mum: “7amdano yal sbal shu yales tgool! 6arr w ma 6arr! laa w jdam umah ba3ad, shu matst7e enta!”

M6ar: “Ehee 7amdan chub enta wela bayeek kaf a7een!”
He whispered to his brother, “yal 7mar la teels tgool hal kalam jdamha wela wala bat6b America!”

M6ar: “Umaya ma 3alaich mnah hal ahbal ymza7 wyach. El mhm hnak a7san 3sb el sh’hadat w ban7a9el sh’3l a7san w che t3arfen.”

Mum *sighs*: “5la9 braykum sawo eli tbonah. Ubokum 3ndkm, el shoor 3ndah hoh.”

7amdan: “A9lan uboya ma 3ndah mane3, bas kan ybana nkalmech enti w na5eth mwafa8tech awal.”

I pushed the door open, entered the office and screamed at the top of my lungs, “Maaamaaa ana ba3ad aba aseeer wyahum!”

Mum: “Balach t9ar5eeen! Wain tbain tsereen enti el thanya ba3ad?!”

Me: “Mama plz allah y5alech 5aleeni aseer adrs bara3 wyahum.”

Mum: “Grri mkanch a7sanlch! Shu el 6ari klkm tbon tsafroon?!”

Me: “Yala 3ad mama 5aleeni aseer. Mthl ma gal ma6oor 3an el shahadat eli hnak w el sh’3l eli ngdar n7a9lah ba3dain.”

Mum: “Shu hal jeel hatha! N7n ma kna che yom kna f 3mrkm. Baseer argd abrakli mn mjabal wyohkm! May59ne feekum, 3ndch uboch w seeri tfahmay wyah, yallah t9b7on 3ala 5air.”
She stormed out of the room and went upstairs.

I went to my dad, sat right next to him on the couch and gave him my puppy-dog eyes since I knew he couldn’t resist. He treated me just like a princess since I'm his only 'little girl' and abdn ma yrdli 6alab.
Me: “Baba mmkn aseer wyahm? w gabel matgool shay, trane sayra 3shan el drasa mb ay sbab thani.”

Dad: “T3arfeen eni magdar agool la2 yom tsaween hal wayh hatha. Bas hal marrah ra7 agool la2 lanch bnt w ma ystwe el bnt tsafer ro7ha fel 3mr hatha, w e5wanch bel zoor r’6aina enhm yseroon.”

I started whining cuz i really wanted to go, “Bas baba laish?! Plzz wallah basawe eli tbonah bas 5alone aseer, w ana mb broo7i, 3nde ma6oor w 7amdan wyay. Baba yallah 3ad allah y5aleek.”

Dad: “7abeebti ma ystwe. Enti bnaya, shu baygolon el nass? Mhayteen bntkm ro7ha hnak w madre shu .. tr’6ain 3ala 3mrch enti?”

Me: “La ma7ad baygool shay etha ydron enah ana wya e5wani w ana mb sayra a9ee3 hnak, sayra adrs. Ha my only reason.”

M6ar: “Uboya ma3alaih 5alha and w 7amdan bn76ha fe 3yoonah w msta7eel shay ystwebha hnak damna mawjoden.”

Me: “Sma3t baba? A7een 3ade aseer? Plzz plz plz!” I pouted and innocently batted my eyelashes.

Dad: *sighs* “5ala9 seeri baba dam e5wanch ma3ach.”

I started jumping up and down, then went to kiss my dad on his head.
Me: “Thank you, thank you, thank you. Wallah babaye’6 el wayh, you won’t regret it!”

I was ecstatic! No words could describe the way I was feeling right then. I was over the moon. Can you blame me?! I was gona live in the U.S! On my own! Well my brothers are with me, but whatever, there aren’t any parents! Can things get any better?!

End of flashback

And now I was finally heading back to Abu Dhabi, back to my hometown, back to where it all happened. I’m 19 now, meaning 3 years had passed since it all started. 3 years since I have seen Khalifa. I had just finished my 2nd year of university and decided to head back home with my best friend, Meera.

‘Fireflies’ by Owl City was blasting on my iPod when the captain announced that we were about to land.

“This is the captain speaking. As we have commenced our final descent to Dubai’s airport, would you kindly return to your seat and fasten your seat belts until the airplane has come to a stop and the captain has switched off the seat-belt signs. Thank you.”

After we got off the plane, checked in and all that, we headed to the car to start our journey to Abu Dhabi. The black G-class drove smoothly down the street. Meera and I were looking out the window as we passed by the beach with its soft beige sand and turquoise water. Kids running with kites, teenage boys showing off on their surfboards for their girlfriends, girls tanning in their bikinis, and others sipping drinks and gossiping. I smiled as I watched all of this through my Chanel aviators.

At that moment, I was glad to be back home, well for now at least ..

Monday, December 14, 2009

Karma's a Bitch* #1

Shamma’s P.O.V

I snapped my compact mirror shut, crossed my legs and sighed. I looked out the window taking in Beverly Hills and started fidgeting with my hands. I knew that a lot would change since I move back home. I mean come on, can you blame me?! I’ve basically lived in the States for the past few years and I’ve left a lot behind me in Abu Dhabi. I left that one person whom I’d die for in a blink of an eye. He told me that he’s head over heels in love with me and what did I do? I practically shattered his heart into pieces and ran away as soon as I got the chance! What the hell would happen when I see him? How am I supposed to react? Most importantly, what is he going to do as soon as he realizes I’m back for good?

Meera, my BFF, noticed that I was freaking out and started to comfort me. She knew that Khalifa "claimed" he was into me and she also knew how I felt about him. Even though I was actually so into him too, I just couldn’t let him know that. I had the hugest crush ever on him, but he was your typical bad boy, a flirt, a player, and I just didn’t want to play the broken-hearted girl.

“Ufff shammoh radainah! Gtlch everything’s gonna turn out just fine. Enti bas stop worrying!”

“Meeroh wallah I can’t! A7s enah he can’t stand me. T5aylay maya36eeni wayh wala ysawele salfah when I see him! You know what happened between us. I told you all about it wela tbaini athakrch beli sawaita feeh?!”

“La ma y7tay shammani I know what happened, bas 5ala9, let’s just drop it. I bet he just put everything behind him and moved on with his life. Hay salfa w ent’hat.”

I was walking to my locker after school when my cell phone beeped indicating that I received a message. It was a relative of mine, Khalifa. I had this secret crush on him. Him and I were kinda close mn bain all our other cousins. I opened the msg and started reading it.

“Shamma mmkn armsch 3an salfah? It’s kinda important, so plz meet me 3nd my car as soon as you see this.”

I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I thought that something bad might have happened since Khalifa wasn’t in school that day, so I went outside to the parking lot as fast I can. When I got there, 5leefa was leaning against his orange Lamborghini with his arms crossed looking SO DAMN HOT! He’s the type of guy who makes heads turn as soon as he steps into a place. I just stood there staring at him from a distance. I was so mesmerized, I couldn’t look away.

I bet you’re all wondering what 5leefa looks like. Well, he’s got this really hot tan, he’s tall, has dark messy hair and the most gorgeous smile that would make any girl melt.
His body is perfect since he's well built, not overly muscular as some bodybuilders are, but just enough to give him that handsome physique. He has broad shoulders, well-defined muscles, a sculpted back and a slight six pack.
He has a long syoofi nose, defined cheekbones, this sexy scar on his left eyebrow, a slight dimple on his right cheek, pink pouty lips with a small beauty mark next to them and his eyes are a light shade of brown which have this spark in them as well as long thick lashes. *sigh* he’s every girl’s dream.

He had his aviator shades on and was wearing a white kandora as well as a cap. He had that whole bad boy thing going on. I started walking closer to him, but he didn’t seem to notice my presence. He seemed to be lost in deep thoughts.

I waved my hands in front of his eyes, “Hello, earth calling!”

He looked my way, smiled slightly and took off his shades. I looked straight into his eyes. Daamn! Those gorgeous eyes! I shook my head. Snap out of it Shamma!

“Ohh shamma you’re here. Mta yaity? Sorry knt sar7an I didn’t realize you were here already.”

“La 5aloof 3ade. El mhm shu esalfah? 3an shu knt tba trmsne?”

“Shu mashay 5aloof sh7alk, shu mswe? People say hi you know, I mean I haven’t seen you all day.”

I giggled and said, “sorry wala tz3al, how r u? shu mswe? how’s life?”

He smirked showing his perfect pearly teeth, “everything’s great, what about you?”

“Good good. Yala enzain tell me, what’s up?”

He bit his lip and I can sense that he got kinda nervous.

“Ohh yea that. Umm, 3ade we go somewhere private and talk? Cuz well, u know, it’s kinda important I told ya.”

“Yeah sure come on, we’ll just sit on the benches close by the basketball court. No one’s there right now.”

We walked silently over there. I took a glance at 5leefa, he was kinda distracted by something. I wonder what he could possibly be thinking of. As soon as we got to the benches, I noticed 5leefa fidgeting with his cell phone.

“5leefa yallah tell me shu mstwe? I’m startin to freak out.”

“la wala shay, el safah w mafeha enah I’m about to tell you something huge so just listen and don’t interrupt lain ma a5ale9 kalamy. When I’m done, you can do eli tbainah. Ok well here it goes, umm, shit I never thought it’d be this hard. God, I’ll just spit it out bdon laf w dawaran. Shamma I think I’m falling for you, and I’m fallin real hard. Wala marrah 7asait b this feeling towards any other girl. Wallah it’s like this feeling is taking over me. You’re like a drug and I can’t stay away from you..”

I was so shocked, I mean I never really thought that this would be coming from 5leefa out of all these people. He’s a frickin player! How am I supposed to know if he’s playin around or not? God, shu asawe now?!

“5leefa what are you sayin? I honestly duno what to tell you.”

He softly reached out and grabbed my hand.

“Wait, I’m not done yet, gtlch latga63eni. Anyways, I tried to convince myself enah it’s nothing. 7awalt ag9 3a 3mre and tell myself that it’s all just in my head. Bas I couldn’t! I really tried, but this feeling just won’t leave me alone. I wasn’t gona tell you at first, I thought I’d just keep it to myself and maybe everything would go back to the way it was. But my feelings just kept growing as the days pass and I couldn’t keep it inside me any longer so I thought it’s better I tell you and let it all out. umm, the point is I love you Shamma Al X.”

I was speechless. I was actually SPEECHLESS! I tried to say something, but nothing at all is coming out of my mouth.

“Shamma? Say something plz, anything! Allah y5aleech just talk. Don’t leave me hanging. I know what you’re thinking, enah I’m a player and all bas ana mb yales ag9 3alaich. Wallah the thought of playing on you never crossed my mind. I would never do that to you. Everything I said is coming straight from my heart.”

I slowly pulled my hand away from his and stood up.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t feel the same way. I really have to go now.”

I hurried to my car and told the driver to speed away. Tears started to form in my eyes unwillingly. My head was filled with many thoughts. I never thought 5leefa had feelings for me. I thought I was like a sister to him. I never thought that he thinks of me as anything more than that. It was all just too much for me. I knew things wouldn’t be the same between us anymore. I basically left him heartbroken out there. I kinda did feel the same way about him. Why didn’t I just tell him the truth? why?! Because he has been with half the girls in the country! Because he’s the biggest player on earth, that’s why! What am I supposed to do when I see him now? I can’t face him. I had to get away, I just had to!

End of flashback