Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Karma's a Bitch* #26

Saif’s P.O.V

I woke up late to the sound of Salama’s voice calling me. I was totally exhausted. The whole day with Shamma had kept eating at me, making sleep impossible to find. I had tossed and turned all night, finally giving up and watching some lame old late movie on t.v. until I dozed off near dawn.

I knew I'd pretty much acted like an ass right from the start. tI'd known it while I was doing it. But at the time I'd reasoned that she didn't deserve any special treatment from me. I thought she’d be okay with me kissing her. After all, it was all for attention, right?

I was pretty much lying to myself, though. Mostly I just really wanted to kiss her. Ever since my lips made contact with her skin I'd been completely distracted, wanting a lot more. All that stuff about putting on a show for everyone was me just rationalizing what I really wanted to do, which was for her to be mine.

And then she got pissed, and I got defensive and sarcastic. Then she told me about how she wasn't one of those girls and her reasons for being there were all noble and shit. Every word of it was true, I could tell. That was when I started to feel just a little bit bad about what I'd done, which was entirely new territory for me.

I sat up all night wrestling with this irritating, unfamiliar feeling of guilt, this feeling I couldn't escape that I'd done something wrong, which I didn't like.

The tricky part, though, was that I knew she wanted me too. I didn't imagine what happened. Sure I started it, but she was giving as good as she got. It wasn't like I forced myself on her and assaulted her. Okay, maybe I forced myself on her a little…but she liked it. But I still felt bad about it, which was weird. I guess it was because she was determined to ignore whatever had flared up between us and I pushed her anyway. I could feel something between us spark, but it certainly wasn't love, not on her side, at least. Then I gave her a hard time for it, and I sort of insulted her.

And back to what had flared up between us…What. The. Fuck. Was. That? I had more than my share of experience with girls. In fact, that was a laughable understatement. But I had no frame of reference for what happened last night. That electricity every time I touched her, the way my mind went completely blank when I kissed her and some sort of crazy instinct took over and swamped my senses, it was overwhelming. That kiss shook me to the core…and it was just a kiss. The only parts of her my hands touched was her shoulders and her hair, but that currently ranked as one of the hottest experiences of my life. How fucked up was that? Even now, fifteen hours later, I could still taste her on my tongue, feel her under my hands, feel her hands gripping my hair...

I wondered if it felt that intense for her, too and remembering her responses, the way she hung on to me, I thought that maybe it had. This situation we're in is complicated, and that would just make it infinitely more so. Unlike me, she was able to act based on common sense, to do what was right and not be a slave to her urges. And now I felt like a total asshole, since she was being mature and making responsible choices and I was… not.

Man, I really hated feeling so bad about myself.

I heard Salama calling my name again and I groaned and buried my face in the pillow, trying to avoid her for another few minutes. Why was she even here? She had her own place, but she was almost never there, preferring to torture me instead. Truthfully though, I was sort of glad for her constant presence in my life. It was one of the only things in my life that still felt healthy and good.

"Saif?" She was in my room now.

I pulled my head free of the covers and managed to open one eye. Just a crack. "Shu tbain Salooom?"

"What happened yesterday?"

"Don't ask."


"Uh-oh is right."

"Shu msawy?"

I picked my head up off the pillow and looked at her with both eyes. "Why is it you automatically assume it was me who fucked up?"

She cocked her head to the side and smiled at me. "Saif… come on."

I groaned and flopped back down. "Alright. I fucked up."

"Tell me."

"Salama, this is sort of private."

"Whatever you did, you might as well spit it out."

I flopped over on my back and sighed, staring at the ceiling.
I sort of broke my word to Shamma. I told her that no one should know about this deal between us, but my sister knew about it. I wasn’t able to keep it away from her, so I thought it’d be okay to tell her about what had happened yesterday.

"I sort of…3agait 3mre 3alaiha…twice. And then when she got mad and called me on it I got… mean. And I insulted her. I might have implied that she was a Khalifa-chasing whore."

Salama winced. She lowered herself to sit on the bed next to me and reached out to stroke my hand absently.

"Saif," she said softly, "you know that you're broken, right?"

Well, fuck. Ouch. As if I didn't feel crappy enough. When your adored baby sister, who has looked at you her whole life with nothing but admiration, looks at you with that pitying expression on her face and tells you that you're broken, then you know you've hit rock bottom.

I dragged my hands through my hair roughly and scrubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands.

"But Saif," she amended quickly, "You weren't always broken! I know the good is still there in you! And we can fix you! You can fix you. You just have to try. This situation you're in with Shamma, maybe it is exactly what you need. So reform yourself already! Don't just act like you have! Do it!"

I sighed deeply. She was right. I knew she was right. But I felt so lost. And helpless. And overwhelmed.

"Salama," I said softly, "I don't even know what to do anymore. Ever since mum passed away, I’ve been a total mess. Dad isn’t around anymore and I just have to take care of you guys. I need to. And this thing with Chloe is just so messed up. I don’t even love her bas it’s like I need her for some weird reason. She’s the only one who’s able to hook me up with drug dealers. And sometimes, I think I need that! It’s the only thing that can offer me an escape from reality. It just feels like this heavy, invisible weight is lifted off my shoulders for the time being. Bas at the same time, I want to be with Shamma too. You don’t get it do you?"

I paused for a minute before I cracked up out of the blue. "Shiiit! hahahaha I totally sound like a sissy! Yl3an this shitty, crappy, messed up life of mine.”

She chuckled lightly then her facial expression turned into a serious one. "You used to be that person, used to be. You’re not anymore, okay? If you go back to all that shit, ya wailek! I’m serious Saif, we’re done with that. Stop being pathetic and chasing Chloe. You can't fix everything all at once, so lat7awel. Pick one thing and focus on that. Fix things with Shamma. Do that first."

"Any ideas on how I do that?"

"I'll get to know her, go out with her, maybe go shopping together? Come with me. Talk to her. Apologize and start over."

"You're going shopping with her?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah," Salama said, a tad defensively. "I think I’ll like her. A lot. From what I’ve heard about her, she’s a real sweetheart."

"She's fallen into the clutches of the crazed fashion-obsessed psycho! She's doomed!" I joked as I reached out and ruffled her hair.

Salama screeched and slapped my hands away and I laughed, the heavy mood broken for the moment. I felt better that at least I had a plan. Now I just needed to figure out what the hell I was going to say.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Karma's a Bitch* #25

Shamma’s P.O.V

When I arrived at the university, it was so early that it was still nearly deserted. Meera and I had most of our classes early in the morning, while most students had theirs in the afternoon. There were a few students scattered here and there, but otherwise the building was mostly empty.

I greeted some of my friends and headed down the long hallway to look for Meera. It was too early for the students in my class to be in yet, so it was empty and dark. I passed through by it and into the studio. It was scattered with instruments and equipment, all dark and shut off. The walls were dark with the foam soundproofing covering every surface. The studio had some homey touches added, which was nice since we spent so much time here. There were a couple of worn Persian rugs scattered over the bare concrete floor and there was a sagging, squishy couch in one corner.

That's where Meera sat, waiting for me. It was at least half an hour before anyone else was due in, so we had plenty of privacy.

She folded her long legs underneath her and turned to face me as I came in. She was "dressed down" today, in no makeup and her black hair in a high ponytail, wearing ordinary jeans and a white t shirt and she still looked unreal.

"So" she began as soon as I walked in the door, "tell me everything."

"Before I say anything... I didn’t tell you this before, but SaifandIarejustfakingit.”

That caught her off guard. "What? What do you mean faking it?"

"He wants his ex back, I’m helping, long story. It doesn’t really matter. El mhm sm3yyy what happened el bar7a...”

"aih enti shu hoh eli it doesn’t really matter? Why are you helping him?"

"Ba3dain Ba3dain, now sm3eeeeeny!"

"Shammoh tell me now!” she warned.

"Listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen…”

"Ufff 5alaaa9 I’m listening! Yallah fkeeeny w tell me what happened yesterday.”

"Oh my god I saw the cutest couple yesterday. Seriously, Meeroh. It was like in a movie, with little hearts circling their heads and their eyes going all starry and birds singing and shit. I've never seen anything like it...”

"Wait," Meera barked, pointing her finger at me, "We're getting distracted. What about you? What happened el bar7a? What are you trying to hide?"

I closed my eyes and sighed before falling onto the sofa heavily beside her. "Ugh Meeroh, it was awful!"

"Awful in what way?"

"He was mostly a jerk, a total ass. It was really uncomfortable. I mean, I wasn't thrilled either, but I was at least willing to try and be civil. But he was rude and arrogant. And then…." I trailed off, not sure how to explain the other things that happened, although I knew I'd have to.

There was no fooling Meera, though. She knew my face too well.

"What happened? Did he do anything?"

“Laa. Maybe. Haih.."

"What did he do?" Her teeth were clenched.

"It wasn't that big of a deal. At least not at first. There were those girls in the library and they were saying how all this is actually fake and everything, so Saif wanted to pretend to make out. And at first it was... just pretend. It was even kind of funny. But then... I don't know. Something changed. And then he was kissing my neck and..." I could feel the fierce blush flooding my face up to my hairline.

"Then it wasn't pretend anymore?" she asked softly.

I shook my head, my eyes squeezed shut. Just talking about it made it all come back, his lips on my neck, his fingers on the back of my neck... the memory was making my heart race and I hated my weakness.

Then I took a deep breath because I hadn't even told her the really bad part yet.

"But we got past that. I made him stop and he did, and we went our separate ways. Bas ba3dain, he came over to my place and…"

"It happened again??"

"Worse." Or better, I thought... depending on your point of view. "He kissed me."

Meera let it hang there a minute, waiting for me to explain, only I didn't know what to say. Finally she asked me, "and...?"

"Oh God, Meeroh..." I flopped back on the couch and let my head fall back, staring at the ceiling. The memory, and the heat, was flooding my system. I fought to control my breathing and calm myself down.

"That good?"

"No one has ever, ever made me feel like that," I said, blushing again. I hated that my body always gave me away like that. "This was... so beyond. And it was just a kiss..."

"Shit. Poor you, this is complicated."

I nodded my head, "Very complicated."

Her eyes snapped up to me. She could hear the guilt in my voice. She knew what I was torturing myself about.

"Did you kiss him back?" she asked accusingly.

I couldn't even answer, I just shut my eyes tight and nodded.

"I couldn't help it," I finally managed to whisper.

"Well, that makes it harder. And glty enah he wants Chloe back so mb chanah this is like so weird somehow. Maybe you should pull out. I don't want you to be hurt. I saw the way he was looking at you before and I was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself."

"Yeah tell me about it, bas come on Meeroh. It's not all on him. I didn't exactly beat him away. And besides, I don't even know if we're on anymore. We got in a fight after that...because of that. He said some awful things and I got pissed and said some awful things back and we didn't really talk later on. We might be done. And what I said to him... well, I don't think he'll kiss me again. Which is good. But it sucks a little bit too, t3arfeen?"

"Yeah, I know." Then she laughed and shook her head slowly. "Only you Shammoh."


"Only you could get into a fight with Saif, the definition of sexiness, because he kissed you, when every other girl on the planet would be begging him for it."

"Yeah, well, that's why I fought with him. To keep myself from begging for it."

I thanked God for Meera. That I had someone I could be so brutally honest with. It felt good to confess what I was feeling to somebody, and I knew she wouldn't judge me at all, even though I'd acted stupidly and engaged in completely inappropriate behavior with a total jerk.

"So, now what?" she asked.

"I don't know what's happening next and right now, I really don't care. I just want to forget for now.."

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Karma's a Bitch* #24

Shamma’s P.O.V

I groaned when I heard the doorbell ring. I forced myself up and dragged my feet across the hall to answer it. Rolling my eyes and in an annoyed tone, I shouted, “I thought I told you not to come!”

I flung the door open and to my utmost surprise, there stood the last person I thought I’d see right now.

“5-5leefah?!” I asked shocked.

“Can I come in?” He was already stepping into the apartment before I had a chance to answer him.

“Be my guest.” I replied sarcastically.

“What’s with the sarcasm? And balach msta’3rbah? Were you expecting someone else?” he asked as he eyed me.

“uhh haa? Laa ma7ad t7arait Meeroh was going to come over,” I stuttered nervously.

“ahaaa Meeroh haa?” he looked at me suspiciously.

He went over to sit on the couch and said, “ta3aly ba5abrch shay,” as he patted the seat next to him.

I walked over closer to him, “5leefah why are you here?”

“Listen forget everything that’s been happening. Can we like start over?”

“Start over? Shu 8a9dek?” I asked as I tilted my head to look at him.

“I want to be with you Shamma. I thought I told you that already.”

“5leefah forget it. If you had said this to me way back, I might have had a different answer. But right now, after knowing your true colors, I’m gona have to say no, I don’t want to.”

“Is this because of hal 7aywan Saif?” he said gritting his teeth.

“Don’t talk about him like that. Plus enta may59k feeni, so don’t get involved in things that have nothing to do with you at all!” I told him as I let out the anger that was buried deep inside me.

“Awanch 3ad matr’6ain 3alaih?”

“T3arf shu? Go to hell! You’re one to talk,” I retorted, my voice full of venom, “the girls back in bu’6abi, girls at the club and now Chloe!”

“Ya3ne shu you’re jealous al7een?”

“ahahahahaha me?! Jealous?! You wish! You could be worth millions to somebody, but to me, you’re just like any ordinary person out there right now.”

“You know what?” I said as I pulled him up by his hand, and dragged him to the door. “Baykoon a7san if you just went back to where you came from.” The door flew open and I instantly pushed him outside. “w don’t come back here again!” I screamed as I quickly shut the door, leaving him standing outside, before he opens his mouth to say anything else.

As I was just about to walk back to the living room, I heard the sound of the doorbell once again.

Ohooo shu mshkelteh haa!

I stomped back to the door and flung it open, “ya5eee what the hell do you want?!!?”

“Damn girl, lhadaraja tkrheeny? If I knew, I wouldn’t have come,” Saif said pulling off a fake upset voice the whole way through, “5ala9 I’ll go back wala yhmch.”

He turned around to leave when I placed my hand on his arm to stop him. “Oh sorry wallah, don’t go. I didn’t realize enah it was you.”

He slowly turned back around to face me. His eyes were full of concern as soon as they met mine. “Shamma shu feech?” he asked, concern filling his voice.

“laa mashay I’m fine, just tired that’s all.” I said pulling off a fake smile, hoping that it’ll ease his worry.

“tg9een 3ala mnu? I don’t believe you,” He chuckled slightly.

"Oh…" I said, because I had no other response to that piece of information and his nearness was making me positively stupid.

"Shamma?" His face was just inches away from my ear.


"Hold still," he said, and then his mouth came down on mine.

His arms were around my shoulders as he turned my body into him and pressed my back against the door in one swift motion. The vibrations of electricity I'd felt when he had his lips on my neck was absolutely nothing to what happened now. Every single inch of me exploded against him.

His lips moved firmly against mine. It felt commanding, but controlled, and I thought for a minute that this might really just be for the benefit of getting used to being near me, no matter how I was responding to it. He felt and tasted every bit as good as I thought he might. And his scent … I could smell his alluring scent filling up the air around me. I didn’t quite know what the smell was, after shave, cigarettes, mixture of perfumes and something else which must have been just Saif. It was making me feel drunk.

I felt his tongue slip along my bottom lip. Oh, God. This was so not for show anymore, since there wasn’t anyone here! My stupid traitorous body didn't seem to care. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I met it with mine. My hands flew to his shoulders to steady myself, but then I realized I was gripping him hard, pulling him into me. His hands slid up to cradle the back of my head, his fingers knotting tightly into my hair. He moved forward into me and my back pressed into door. He kept moving and crushed himself against me. And now it didn't feel controlled anymore... at all.

My hands slipped up to the back of his neck and I finally got to touch the hair that had been calling to me since we met. I tangled my fingers in the hair just above his collar and made a tight fist. One of his hands left my hair and slipped down over my shoulder.

That’s that's when my brain woke up. Because there was only one place this was leading. And it did not matter that no one's hands and lips had ever made me feel like that. I was not about to let myself do this, continue making out with this incredibly hot and sexy stranger, consequences be damned.

This is so not me! What the hell is happening to me? I’ve got dignity, morals, pride! Bas 3gb shuuuu!?

This is complicated because we have an arrangement to deal with. He actually wants his ex back, as he said. How can I forget that? How can he forget that?!

So I let go of his hair and stiffened in his arms for a second time tonight. He moved back a tiny bit, sensing my resistance. He pulled his lips from mine and I dropped my head quickly, so I didn't have to look at him as I gasped for breath. His breathing sounded just as ragged. He moved his hands to rest lightly, harmlessly on my shoulders.

"I didn't mean for that to happen…like that," he muttered, his voice sounding a bit bothered.

I took a deep breath hoping I could trust my own voice.

"Let's just forget it."


"Forget it," I snapped, because if I didn't get mad I was going to cry. "Look, let's…" I was about to go off on him, but instead, I slipped out from underneath his hands and walked over to sit on the barstool. He paused for a millisecond and then shot out in front of me.

He fell into the barstool next to mine before he threw a glance at me. I fought to hang on to my anger. He started talking before I could.

"Sure that got a little intense. But I'm not sure what you're so unhappy about. We're supposed to be a couple. So we got carried away a little bit. Since you're in this for grabbing a hold of 5leefah, I thought that would make you happy. It'll make you ecstatic, right? Mb enti you’re chasing 5leefah? Ma tbainah? And isn't that what you want? Isn't that why you're here?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

I drew in a sharp breath and my eyes narrowed at him.
Fucking asshole.

"That is not why I'm here. I couldn't care less what this does for me. I don't give a shit about 5leefah or anything else. I would do almost anything most of the time to help out others, even something I hate. On the other hand, even though I don’t care what people say about me, and I don’t care what the public thinks most of the time since a3arf 3mry 3adel, I do care now. They probably think I’m some type of whore. People actually saw us. This might actually get you Chloe back. And that's a good thing. For you."

Okay, I was exaggerating a little. There were definitely parts of tonight that I in no way hated. But I needed to gain control of this situation. And he needed to not touch me anymore. That wouldn't get us anywhere.

He clenched and unclenched his jaw for a moment, staring straight ahead as he thought about what I said. I really didn't want to keep fighting, so I sagged with relief when he simply stayed quiet.

My phone beeped to indicate I had a text. I grabbed it and glanced at the screen. It was Meera. What happened? –M

I texted back. Long story. Tomorrow –S

Saif glanced from my phone to my face and back again.

"Do you need to call someone?"


His face turned to stone again and he didn't speak. I had no idea where we stood. Was our arrangement still in place? Or were we done before we'd even really started? But I was too upset and tired tonight to ask him, especially since he looked so angry and mean. I was just going to try to forget about it for a little while and figure it all out later. Besides, if we talked about this anymore tonight I was pretty sure I would cry and that would be humiliating to the extreme.

He stood up and walked to the door, without a single word. I didn't want to linger to see what he would or wouldn't say.

I hurried up to my room and shut the door. I heard shuffling in the living room for another few minutes before I heard the door slam shut. Much to my dismay, I started to cry. Not hard, but tears leaked out from under my lids nonetheless.

My phone rang. "So?" Meera jumped right in, "What's going on? Shu estwa that day when you ran off telling me that you gotta do something 3gb ma you asked me all that weird stuff?"

I just sighed.

"Tell me everything!"

"I will Meeroh, I promise. But not now. Tell you what, get to el jam3a half an hour early tomorrow morning and I'll tell you then."

This satisfied Meera and I was able to slink off to bed and bury my miserable head in the covers. I wasn't going to sleep any time soon, though, I knew it. Between thinking about what tomorrow would bring and reliving every touch from him, I tossed and turned the whole night, finally drifting into a restless sleep in the early pre-dawn hours. I dreamt of Saif, Saif's hands and Saif's lips, and Saif's words. I woke up feeling just as close to tears as I felt last night.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Karma's a Bitch* #23

Shamma’s P.O.V

Oh. My. God.


I latched the bathroom stall door and sat down on the closed toilet. I put my head down on my knees and squeezed my eyes shut. I drew deep breaths, trying all my old tricks from the early days, when I had horrible stage fright during school plays.

Slowly I felt like I was regaining some control over myself. I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled to Meera’s number. I had typed in the text, one word, HELP, and paused with my thumb over “send”.

Why was I texting Meeroh? Up until a minute ago it had been going okay. Sure it was awkward and forced, but we were complete strangers pretending to be dating. It was bound to be awkward. Okay, so he was an ass, and frikin impossible to deal with.

But then he kissed my neck…

I couldn’t argue with the reason he’d done it. That’s what we’re supposed to do, to make people believe that we’re together. And when I thought back, it really had started out innocent. I was even sort of giggling.

And then it hadn’t been so innocent.

So he got carried away, why am I so freaked out?

Because I did too.

Damn it. That had been the hottest, sexiest thing that had ever happened to me. And the feeling when he touched me…my God. Like I’d been zapped by lightning. I’ve never felt like that ever. My skin still tingled at every point on my body that he had touched.

Even after I pulled away, as I looked at him, looking so damn stunning with that gorgeous hair going everywhere, all I really wanted to do was keep going where we left off.

This was bad. But it’s also not really his fault. Okay, so he started it, kissing my neck like that, but it’s not his problem that I can’t control my reaction to him. I was just another stupid girl falling prey to the ‘Saif charm’. I would have to be stronger than this. I could do this. I had to.

I stood up and left the stall and checked myself in the mirror. I might feel like an earthquake just rocked my whole body, but I looked just the same, so that’s good. I caught the girl to my left checking me out in the mirror sneakily. I could nearly hear her thoughts.

Yes bitch, I’m with Saif. And I ain’t going anywhere anytime soon.

I straightened up myself again, threw my shoulders back and headed back to the library. The girls that Saif had ratted out as spies were so engrossed in some major gossip conversation.

Hope you enjoyed the show, ladies. It was all for you. Well, it was supposed to be for you. My feelings told a whole different story.

Saif was sitting at a chair outside the library with his head in his hands. He looked up at me questioningly as he noticed my presence. I shot him what I hoped was a calm, reassuring smile, even though the sight of him made my stomach clench and my heart speed up. He looked at me a moment longer then shrugged slightly and looked away.

Before I knew it, Saif was standing and getting ready to leave. We still hadn’t said more than a handful of words to each other.

He cleared his throat, “e7m, Shamma ana baseer, I don’t have any more classes for the rest of the day.”

“uhh yeah okay me too, I’ve got a lecture in 5 mins.”

I turned around quickly and started to walk away without some sort of proper goodbye.

I stopped for a minute and looked back just in time to see a skanky-looking girl literally checking Saif out from top to bottom. And it was pissing me off for some weird reason that I can’t seem to wrap my head around.

Hey bitch, this may be ‘fake’ but you don’t know that! He’s with me!

All I could do to stand there and stare into space and pretend I didn’t notice her grinning at him and him shooting her that crooked sexy grin.

As I regained my focus back, I realized that Saif was gone already. Suddenly, I whirled around and headed to the main door. To hell with the lectures, I’m going home.

I slipped through the gate to the parking lot and started walking back to my apartment.

“Come on, pick up!” I repeated over and over again into the receiver. “Damn it Meeroh!” I cursed shoving my cell into my bag.

My mind was whirling and swirling.

I was still walking, occasionally picking up the phone and dialing Meera’s number, but every time I had no answer.

“Where is she? Yom I desperately need her, ma a7a9lha!” I was talking to myself like some lunatic when all of a sudden, my phone rang. “Finally!” I breathed in relief as I quickly answered. “Where have you been? I’ve been calling you mn el9b7. You won’t believe what happened!” I said in one breath.

My face turned bright red when I heard a familiar voice from the other side of the line.

“Hey, didn’t know you wanted me that bad. That kiss in the library left you craving, huh?”

I could almost feel that cocky smirk plastered on that face of his.

“Saif!” I hissed between clenched teeth.

“The one and only, love.”

“What do you want?” I growled.

“I think the question is, what do you want? Mb enti eli tawch tgoleen ench mn el9b7 you’re trying to reach me,” he answered cockily.

“I thought you were someone else,” I answered dryly.

“Who?” The question was out of his lips before he could hold back.

“Ma7ad!” I barked.

“Yala 3ad, I thought you were supposed to tell me everything,” he replied smugly.

“Since when do I have to tell you anything?”

“Since you became my girl.”

“I’m not your girl, Saif.” He was really starting to get on my nerves.

“Of course you are.”

“What do you want?” I asked again.

“Just wanted to know how my girl was doing,” he continued with a slurred tone.

“I’m fine!” I said hanging up the phone on his face.

Seconds later the phone was ringing again.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Not nice to hang up the phone in someone’s face babe. Especially not your boyfriend.”

“You are not my boyfriend, Saif!”

“No need to shout love.”

I sighed loudly. The sound of his voice the next second caught me off guard. Gone was the cocky voice to be replaced by a serious and almost concerned tone.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” I said frustrated.

“You don’t sound fine.”

“Saif, just leave me alone. I’m not in the mood for sa5afatek and another of your games. You win ok?” I was almost begging him.

I reached the building and the sound of the elevator was heard.

There was a moment of silence before he said, “I’ll be there in two minutes.”

“What? Saif? La!” Before I could say anything else, I got the dead signal from the other side of the line. “Oh God no…”

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Karma's a Bitch* #22

i was gone for too long, wasn't i ? =x So sooorry you guys! :*
e9ara7a i wasn't in the mood for blogger, seriously :p
el mhmmm .. i'll leave you with the post, yalla scroll doooown! =p

Saif’s P.O.V

She let out a deep sigh, pulling her arm out of my grip. “What do you suggest we do?”

I paused for a moment, even though I already knew the answer to her question.

I just hadn’t figured out the best way to inform her of it...

“Well, we...”

“We kiss. In front of everyone,” I finally managed to say.

Shamma’s eyes widened in horror. “I can’t kiss you. If I kiss you I’ll probably... La laa I just can’t!”

“She’s not dating Saif. It’s all a scam to get Khalifa.” We heard the girls insist on the other side of the bookcase. Their voice was becoming clearer and it was obvious that they were rounding the corner to enter the same corridor me and Shamma were in.

“Hey Shamma,” I murmured, scooting closer to her with a smile, “See the girls over there? Don’t look!” I motioned slightly with my chin. She nodded. “They’re coming closer. As you obviously heard, they don’t believe this thing going between us. I think we should give them a little something to accept the fact that it’s true, don’t you?”

Her eyes widened in alarm.

Damn, was being touched by me really such an unpleasant thing to her?

“Relax, it’s just for show.”

And before she could flip out or protest, I angled my body across hers and buried my face in the crook of her neck.

“See? No big deal,” I whispered into her neck. She just about leapt out of her skin.

“You’re tickling me!” she hissed.

“Hold still!”

“But it tickles when you talk!” she was squirming underneath me and trying to stifle a giggle.

“Quit wiggling! Okay, I won’t talk.”

She started to squeal, but I slid my right hand up to the base of her neck and angled her head to the side, giving me better access to her neck. I trailed my lips along the length of her neck, just barely touching her.

My intention was to just goof around, give those girls a show and maybe get a rise out of Shamma at the same time. But now that I was here, with my nose buried in her hair, her floral, pleasant scent was making me lightheaded. And her hair, what was that scent? Strawberries. It was such a simple girlish smell. I was used to women smelling like a complex mix of very expensive products. Her silly strawberry shampoo was killing me. And there was this feeling when I touched her like this, like electricity, I could feel it sing along my fingers and down my spine.

It was crazy, and intoxicating, and I didn’t want to stop.

My fingers unwillingly caressed the back of her neck and her eyes slid closed. I dragged my lips back up her neck with more pressure and I gave it one slow open mouthed kiss and let my lips linger. She drew in a long unsteady breath. My own breathing was becoming ragged.

I really should stop this.

I had only meant to fool around for a minute.

I had had no intention of starting anything.

But she wasn’t stopping me.

And it felt really good.

And I really wanted to.

I’ve wanted to touch her like this since the instant I laid eyes on her.

She softened in my arms. My left hand, that had been resting lightly on her hip, clenched into her and pulled her closer. Her hand was slipping up my back, clinging to me. I gripped her hip tighter. My lips traveled back up her glorious neck and then along her jaw. I could kiss her. I’m almost there. I’ve been staring at her mouth all day and wondering what it feels like, what it tastes like.

I pulled my face back just enough to make eye contact with her. Her hooded dark eyes met mine and then snapped open. Her spine stiffened and in one movement she’d slid herself half a foot away from me.

“Wh-what was that?” she stammered.

I held my hands up in front of me trying to look innocent. “Sorry, I got carried away. You smell really good.” I tried a flash of the dazzling smile, but she wasn’t having it. She scooted around to the other side of the bookcase in a flash.

“I have to go to the toilet.”

A high-toned squeak announced the girls’ presence and I turned around to look at the dumbstruck duo. I smiled secretly as I realized that I had achieved my goal.

I then watched Shamma as she strode across the library and into the hall. Then I watched the face of every goddamned guy in the place as they watched her cross the hallway.

They should really back off. She’s mine.

Except she’s not. And the point was, a girl like her wouldn’t be mine.

That’s why this stupid “pretend game” is laughable, really. I could probably get any girl I want, and they’d be ready, willing and eager. But Shamma…she freaks out and runs to the ladies room. So okay, maybe Ghanem was right. She was different and too good for me. Or maybe it was that I was too bad for her.

Except that... she liked it?

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Karma's a Bitch* #21

Shamma’s P.O.V

I sighed heavily, letting my fingers thread between my hazel strands. I stared blindly ahead at no particular thing. I felt an unexpected slight tap on my shoulder which made me jump up to attention.

“Umeeeeh!” I screamed as I half-jumped in the air and turned around to come face to face with no other than Meera, “Meeerooh hay enty!”

“Bsmellah shu feeech?!” she said as she took a seat next to me on the bleachers.

“Ya5e zaya’3teeeenii!”

“Hahah 7asha!” she laughed, “kel ha cause of this light tap.”

We sat in silence for a moment, just watching the empty football field, until Meera decided to speak. “So..”

I cut her off before she had a chance to speak any further, “Meeroh am I self-centered?”

I slowly rocked myself back and forth, hugging my denim-covered legs against my chest.

“Akeeed la, laish ts2leeen?” Meera frowned.

“La mashay.” I shook my head and returned my gaze to the green field that spread before our eyes.

“Shu esalfah? Shu mstwe?” she looked at me with questioning eyes.

I rested my chin on my knees, my eyes never darting away from the view ahead of me.

“Enzain what about heartless and stubborn?” I asked again.

“Where did you get that from? Shammoh, 7ad gayelech shay?”

Finally, I turned to look at Meera, “be honest.”

“Well...” she hesitated for a moment. “You can be a bit... harsh sometimes. Especially if you’ve been hurt,” she admitted.

I closed my eyes for a few moments and then stood up.

“Oh god. Mayarii I gotta go... do something. I’ll see you later.”

I looked for him in the entire university and the only place left to search was the library. It was useless. He had left. Despite that, I decided to give it a try. My eyes widened as I entered and found a familiar figure sitting in the back, carving the sleek wood of the tables with his sharp pocket knife.

“Hey,” I whispered as I approached him.

I look at him, but he doesn't look at me.

One glance out of those coldly indifferent eyes and no more.

That look in his eyes... Gosh, I wish I'd killed myself before I opened my mouth earlier.

“5air?” he said coldly, “do you need anything?”

I was just about to sit down, but the moment I bent down he was up and walking over to a wall covered with books. I sighed and walked after him.

“Ok I guess I deserved that,” I grumbled apologetically, but he wouldn’t hear of it as he moved along the corridor, pretending to look for a book.

“Saaif!” I called out a bit too loud and was immediately shushed by the librarian. “Saif!” I hissed pulling at his polo shirt, but he continued to pretend I wasn’t even there, staring up at the shelves.

Having no other choice, I moved between him and the bookcase. My back was pressed against the shelves. I held my breath as I realized that my simple motion had put me in a very dangerous situation. My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty. Only a few inches separate his body from my own!

“Will you please move?” he asked looking straight through me.

“Not until you talk to me,” I managed to say as I stared up at him.

I nearly gasped as he looked down at me, never bothering to move away. “What do you want?” he asked coldly.

I blinked wildly for a few seconds as I tried to get a hold of myself.

What the hell is happening to me?

“I-I’m sorry,” I managed to stutter.

He eyed me suspiciously, not uttering a single word.

“I realize enah I can be a pain sometimes...” I said.

“Bas sometimes?” he said sarcastically, raising his eyebrow.

“Yala 3ad I’m apologizing here. Give me a break.”

Saif stood still waiting for me to continue.

“And you just caught me in one of those... sometimes. So I’m sorry for saying eli gltah, ok?”

I waited for an answer but he simply stared down at me.

Ma gdart at7amal the closeness between us anymore. It was becoming unbearable.

My breath hitched in my throat at the sight him.

I’ve had enough of this tension. “Enzain 3ade you just step back a little? My blood oxygen levels are becoming an issue here,” I hesitantly said.

Saif’s P.O.V

Nodding slightly, I stepped back but remained silent.

“So...” she started, trying hard to break the stillness between us, but failing miserably at it. Eventually, she gave up and let out a loud sigh before asking, “are you giving me the silent treatment? Cause it’s really starting to freak me out.”

“You talk too much,” I said simply.

I continued to search the shelves for something. It was obvious enah I wasn’t actually looking for anything.

“Shu tsawe hne a9lan?” she finally asked after a few moments.

“You just can’t keep quiet, can you?”

“I don’t like silence. It makes me uncomfortable.”

I shot her this weird look. “What?” she asked defensively.

“Nothing,” she said as I continued my meaningless search.

It wasn’t long before she spoke once again, “you never answered my question. What are you doing here?”

“Reading,” I stated the obvious, my eyes still wandering over the mountain of books displayed before me.

“You read?” she scoffed.

“Ever since I was six. Isn’t that just amazing?” I said with sarcastic enthusiasm.

Shamma forced a plastic smile on her face which instantly crumbled. We continued to slowly make our way down the corridor, until I reached for a book and started skimming through it aimlessly. She simply leaned on the bookcase and waited for me to finish whatever it is I’m doing when we heard two whispering voices coming from the corridor next to ours.

“What do you mean mat9adgeen? Of course they’re together.”

“No they’re not. I mean, one minute they hate each other and the next they’re walking down the halls holding hands and sitting together. Come on, it’s so fake! Ybayen!”

“Who are those shitheads?!” Shamma mouthed to me, as I put down the book and was now eavesdropping on the conversation going now.

“No way. They are so together. The never-ending arguments and teasing each other all the time? All a façade to hide the undeniable attraction that pulls them together,” some girl argued, “and now that they’ve realized it, they’re on their way down major make-out lane.”

Shamma cringed at the statement, her facial muscles twisting up.

“A-ha!” the other girl cried out, “a9lan there was no make-out. Ever! And that is my point. If what they have is ‘undeniable attraction’ then we should have witnessed some major smooching by now. But all we got was pathetic holding hands and sitting together.”

“Maybe Shamma wants to take it slow. You know, maybe she’s still hurt because of Khalifa.”

“Shamma? Taking it slow? Ha!” they laughed, “I bet she’s just doing this 3sb tba Khalifa y’3ar. That girl would do absolutely anything. It’s pathetic.”

Her eyes instantly widened and anger flashed in them. “Shu hal 5aysa! Mnu tt7ara 3mrha?!” she growled.

Shamma began to storm down the corridor, when my strong hand caught a grip on her arm. “Calm down,” I hissed pulling her closer, “beating the crap out of hal 5yas is not going to solve anything.”

“They think I’m... I’m... easy!” she snapped.

“Believe me when I say that you are not easy. There is nothing easy about you.”

She stopped for a second trying to figure out if what I had said was a compliment or not.

“I told you no one would believe it. I mean, we didn’t even fool the nerds back there.” I tilted my head towards the bookcase that separated us from the nerdy shlah.

She let out a deep sigh, pulling her arm out of my grip. “What do you suggest we do?”

I paused for a moment, even though I already knew the answer to her question.

I just hadn’t figured out the best way to inform her of it...

“Well, we...”

Friday, February 5, 2010

Karma's a Bitch* #20

Show me the LOOOOVE people! =p

Shamma’s P.O.V

“Ready to work on your acting skills? Cause you sure as hell are long way from an award winning performance. What was all that staring about by the way?” Saif asked.

“What staring? I don’t stare,” I said simply as I continued to rummage through my bag, before turning to leave the classroom.

“Sure you don’t,” he said sarcastically before snaking his arm around my waist.

“Hey!” I instinctively slapped his hand away from me.

“Well love, lazem tt3awdain. Our unexpected passion won’t look very believable if you keep jumping up every time I come near you, now will it?” he asked tilting his head.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, taking his hand in mine I dragged him out of the classroom and into the hall

It wasn’t hard to realize that everyone was staring.

This was just weird. Just plain weirdness.

“They’re staring. They’ll never believe this,” I said.

“9adgeeny they’ll believe it.”

“This is a stupid plan. It’ll never work,” I grunted as I turned to face Saif.

“Will you stop being so- “

I cut him off, “rbee3k is coming our way.”

“Sawaaaf! 7abeeeby 3loomk?”

“Hala hala ‘3anooom! Good good w mn 9obk?”

“Tamam wallah.”

“Doom enshallah. Shammani 7ayatii u know Sara right?”

“Haih I do, hey Saroh sh7alch?” I said as I salamt 3alaiha.

“B5air 7abeebti and you?”

“Not bad I guess.”

We stood still for a couple of seconds.

No one was saying anything.


Incredibly uncomfortable silence.

Sarah was eyeing us curiously.

“So...” Sarah was the one to break the stillness. She had been waiting the entire day to ask a question, ever since Ghanem had told her the news it had become an itch she was just dying to scratch. So being Sarah, she did, “Since when are you and Shamma here going steady?”

The familiar silence was back, until Sarah’s voice hovered over us again,

“You and Shamma are an item huh?”


“Why?” she quickly continued her questioning.

“Why?!” I asked. Now that was a smart question. Everyone who had dared to ask about my choice of ‘boyfriend’ had asked something along the lines of ‘how, not why’. “Well... he and I... we...” I struggled for an explanation.

“It’s physical!” Saif aka ‘my knight in shining armor’ stepped in. “She just couldn’t resist my attraction,” he said with the most serious tone in the world, “I think she fell for me when I saved her.”

“From being mugged?” Sarah asked as she recalled her conversation with Ghanem on the subject.


I just stood in my place, trying hard not to roll my eyes. ‘God! The nerve of some people!’ In my mind a string of curses was directed at Saif, who now had his arm wrapped around my waist.

Sarah frowned a little but decided to accept the explanation, especially since her boyfriend was currently shooting her a knowing look so that she’d stop throwing questions at us.

Suddenly, extreme silence took over as Ghanem and Sarah gawked at something behind us. Saif and I turned around to find the object of their attention and we couldn’t help but gulp as we watched Chloe and Khalifa. We exchanged electrically charged glances as we remained perfectly still for a second. We all watched as the Khalifa walked closer to us, his heavy arms draped over Chloe’s shoulders. He stopped and looked at us.

“Shamma,” he greeted dryly with a nod. Turning to look at Saif, he practically spat, “Saif.”

“5leefah. Chloe,” Saif greeted back with a plastic smile as he possessively tightened his arm around my waist.

Silence. Everyone waited and watched.

“Shamma 3nde some of your cd’s in my apartment,” Khalifa started, “when do you want them back?”

“Keep them,” I answered dryly as I felt my stomach turn at the sight of Chloe pressing herself against Khalifa’s chest. Her hands traced patterns on his abs as she shot me a dirty look. “I don’t need them.”

Khalifa was taken aback by my cold and distant tone, but soon recovered. He stood up straight and mumbled, “fine. Suit yourself.”

And with that he turned on his heels and left, dragging Chloe with him.

As soon as I could, I made my way to the nearest bathrooms, locking myself in the stall furthest from the door. I sat on the covered toilet, waiting for the adrenaline in my system to reach acceptable levels. I felt my stomach flip-flop at the memory of Chloe arrogantly clinging to Khalifa, trying as best as possible to let me know that he was now her property, that he belonged to her.

Arrogant little-

Suddenly I heard a light knock on the door.

I bent down to peep from under the door, trying hard not to ruin my outfit, hair or makeup. I found a pair of shoes tapping the tiled floor impatiently. Familiar Gucci sneakers, to be exact. In a flash, I opened the door. “What the hell are you-“

I was cut off as Saif quickly placed his finger on my lips.

“Do you want to get me into trouble?”

Before I could answer him, I was being dragged out of the bathroom, down the hall and out the side door of the building to the backside.

“Why did you drag me here?” I snapped annoyed.

He ignored me and grinned wildly at me. “Did you see Chloe’s face? And hal ahbal? God, I never thought it would work this fast.”

I scratched my head as I watched him ramble on and on about how the plan was amazing and was working perfectly.

“Pretty soon Chloe will be so jealous she won’t have a choice other than enha trdly. God, I miss her so much!”

Something about the way he said it, the sincerity in his tone maybe, made my stomach turn and I had to fight back the urge to kick him.

“Did you drag me here to listen to your pathetic love struck ramblings, Romeo?” I grumbled, crossing my hands over my chest and leaning on the wall.

“Sm3y, no matter what you say or how nasty you are right now, you are not going to ruin my good mood. I guarantee you,” he said, a goofy smile still plastered over his lips and an annoying sparkle brightening his eyes.

“She practically glued herself to 5leefah!” I said.

“Because she was jealous.”

“Men really like to fool themselves.”

“Batrdly, you’ll see.”

“She doesn’t care about you! Get it through that thick skull of yours,” I said, but he just wouldn’t hear a thing.

“I know Chloe.”

“Right. That’s why you knew she was making out with 5leefah.”

At that, the smile on his face crumbled, quickly being replaced by a strange empty look in his eyes. Without a word he turned to leave, but my small hand gripped him by his arm.

“Look, I’m sorry. Ma kan 8ad9e-“

Before I could finish my sentence, he was in my face, anger flashing in his eyes.

“You are the most self-centered, heartless, stubborn little brat I’ve ever met in my entire life.”