Karma's a Bitch* #25

Shamma’s P.O.V

When I arrived at the university, it was so early that it was still nearly deserted. Meera and I had most of our classes early in the morning, while most students had theirs in the afternoon. There were a few students scattered here and there, but otherwise the building was mostly empty.

I greeted some of my friends and headed down the long hallway to look for Meera. It was too early for the students in my class to be in yet, so it was empty and dark. I passed through by it and into the studio. It was scattered with instruments and equipment, all dark and shut off. The walls were dark with the foam soundproofing covering every surface. The studio had some homey touches added, which was nice since we spent so much time here. There were a couple of worn Persian rugs scattered over the bare concrete floor and there was a sagging, squishy couch in one corner.

That's where Meera sat, waiting for me. It was at least half an hour before anyone else was due in, so we had plenty of privacy.

She folded her long legs underneath her and turned to face me as I came in. She was "dressed down" today, in no makeup and her black hair in a high ponytail, wearing ordinary jeans and a white t shirt and she still looked unreal.

"So" she began as soon as I walked in the door, "tell me everything."

"Before I say anything... I didn’t tell you this before, but SaifandIarejustfakingit.”

That caught her off guard. "What? What do you mean faking it?"

"He wants his ex back, I’m helping, long story. It doesn’t really matter. El mhm sm3yyy what happened el bar7a...”

"aih enti shu hoh eli it doesn’t really matter? Why are you helping him?"

"Ba3dain Ba3dain, now sm3eeeeeny!"

"Shammoh tell me now!” she warned.

"Listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen…”

"Ufff 5alaaa9 I’m listening! Yallah fkeeeny w tell me what happened yesterday.”

"Oh my god I saw the cutest couple yesterday. Seriously, Meeroh. It was like in a movie, with little hearts circling their heads and their eyes going all starry and birds singing and shit. I've never seen anything like it...”

"Wait," Meera barked, pointing her finger at me, "We're getting distracted. What about you? What happened el bar7a? What are you trying to hide?"

I closed my eyes and sighed before falling onto the sofa heavily beside her. "Ugh Meeroh, it was awful!"

"Awful in what way?"

"He was mostly a jerk, a total ass. It was really uncomfortable. I mean, I wasn't thrilled either, but I was at least willing to try and be civil. But he was rude and arrogant. And then…." I trailed off, not sure how to explain the other things that happened, although I knew I'd have to.

There was no fooling Meera, though. She knew my face too well.

"What happened? Did he do anything?"

“Laa. Maybe. Haih.."

"What did he do?" Her teeth were clenched.

"It wasn't that big of a deal. At least not at first. There were those girls in the library and they were saying how all this is actually fake and everything, so Saif wanted to pretend to make out. And at first it was... just pretend. It was even kind of funny. But then... I don't know. Something changed. And then he was kissing my neck and..." I could feel the fierce blush flooding my face up to my hairline.

"Then it wasn't pretend anymore?" she asked softly.

I shook my head, my eyes squeezed shut. Just talking about it made it all come back, his lips on my neck, his fingers on the back of my neck... the memory was making my heart race and I hated my weakness.

Then I took a deep breath because I hadn't even told her the really bad part yet.

"But we got past that. I made him stop and he did, and we went our separate ways. Bas ba3dain, he came over to my place and…"

"It happened again??"

"Worse." Or better, I thought... depending on your point of view. "He kissed me."

Meera let it hang there a minute, waiting for me to explain, only I didn't know what to say. Finally she asked me, "and...?"

"Oh God, Meeroh..." I flopped back on the couch and let my head fall back, staring at the ceiling. The memory, and the heat, was flooding my system. I fought to control my breathing and calm myself down.

"That good?"

"No one has ever, ever made me feel like that," I said, blushing again. I hated that my body always gave me away like that. "This was... so beyond. And it was just a kiss..."

"Shit. Poor you, this is complicated."

I nodded my head, "Very complicated."

Her eyes snapped up to me. She could hear the guilt in my voice. She knew what I was torturing myself about.

"Did you kiss him back?" she asked accusingly.

I couldn't even answer, I just shut my eyes tight and nodded.

"I couldn't help it," I finally managed to whisper.

"Well, that makes it harder. And glty enah he wants Chloe back so mb chanah this is like so weird somehow. Maybe you should pull out. I don't want you to be hurt. I saw the way he was looking at you before and I was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself."

"Yeah tell me about it, bas come on Meeroh. It's not all on him. I didn't exactly beat him away. And besides, I don't even know if we're on anymore. We got in a fight after that...because of that. He said some awful things and I got pissed and said some awful things back and we didn't really talk later on. We might be done. And what I said to him... well, I don't think he'll kiss me again. Which is good. But it sucks a little bit too, t3arfeen?"

"Yeah, I know." Then she laughed and shook her head slowly. "Only you Shammoh."

"Shu?"

"Only you could get into a fight with Saif, the definition of sexiness, because he kissed you, when every other girl on the planet would be begging him for it."

"Yeah, well, that's why I fought with him. To keep myself from begging for it."

I thanked God for Meera. That I had someone I could be so brutally honest with. It felt good to confess what I was feeling to somebody, and I knew she wouldn't judge me at all, even though I'd acted stupidly and engaged in completely inappropriate behavior with a total jerk.

"So, now what?" she asked.

"I don't know what's happening next and right now, I really don't care. I just want to forget for now.."